you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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