The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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