you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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