I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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