i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
