So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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