Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
