I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
