We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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