YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
should my penis look like a turkey
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
