Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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