I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
