i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
