so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
