I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
