i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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