i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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