You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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