bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
