Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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