God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
