Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
