you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
