I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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