Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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