how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize