Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
