The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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