Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
