but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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