just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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