Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize