the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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