We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
