seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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