Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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