i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize