u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
