This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
