Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
