one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
