everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
