i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
