Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I need moral support for this bender
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
