If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
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We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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