the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
