Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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