I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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