Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
