2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
