i just had sex bonerless
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
