you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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