youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
