Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
