um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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