I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize