Screwed.edu
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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