you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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