i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
