Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
