Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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