Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
