Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
