the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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